A Waking Nightmare
by ry123red
Summary: AU: After unintentionally discovering that she has magic, a confused and distraught Morgana escapes into the forest to think. Merlin finds her.


A/N: Set in series 2 episode 3 "The Nightmare Begins". AU where Morgana runs away to think right after she discovers she might have magic. Merlin goes to find her.

Prompt: Mergana/ cliff side/ red lipstick/ a cloak

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><p><strong>A Waking Nightmare<strong>

It had been raining heavily. The thunder was so loud it shook the windows and lightning flashed across the dark night sky. For once, the city of Camelot was quiet. Everyone was in their homes for the night, taking refuge from the sudden storm that had come upon them with all the ferocity of a dragon. Only instead of fire being pelted from the sky, heavy drops of rain fell from the clouds for hours and didn't show any sign of letting up anytime in the near future.

While most were peacefully sleeping in their beds, the chaotic storm outside served as a reflection of one girl's dreams. She tossed and turned in her bed, the occasional whimper escaping her unconscious form. Morgana had been plagued by dreadful nightmares for years, but it was only recently that they had escalated to where she was fearful to even go to sleep.

Morgana was abruptly released from her horrific nightmare and woke, sitting up in her bed with a startled gasp. Clutching the luxurious covers in her pale hands, she stared in confusion at the lit candle glowing from where it sat on the table by the window. It made no sense; Gwen always _always _put the candles out before she retired for the evening. Gwen thought it was dangerous to have lit candles nearby while she was sleeping. A feeling of dread formed in Morgana's stomach and she stared, completely frozen and unable to move.

_Was she still in a nightmare?_

The candle's flame flickered and then grew, the fire almost bursting from the wick and catching onto the expensive curtains that adorned the window. Scorching flames spread across the material and emitted a burning heat that she could feel all the way across her bedchamber.

Morgana screamed loudly, her voice piercing in the dark night.

The sound of breaking glass added to the chaos as her bedroom window shattered outwards, shards of glass shooting in every direction.

_What was happening to her?_

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><p>Merlin found her by a cliffside on the edge of the woods.<p>

The rain from the previous night had stopped, leaving behind a cold mist that lingered around the trees. The raven haired girl was sitting on a large rock, a dark red colored cloak wrapped around her shoulders to fend off the chill. Her pale green eyes were fixed on the setting sun, which brought out the flecks of gold in them.

The warlock approached her quietly, his footsteps soundless on the sodden ground. He sat in the empty space next to her and a heavy silence filled the clearing. Merlin glanced at Morgana, noticing the tired shadows under her eyes, her unpainted lips, and her unusually pale complexion. He frowned to himself, gritting his teeth in disappointment and frustration.

_Why? Why, of all people, did Morgana have magic? She was Uther's ward. How was he supposed to help her?_

"I don't understand anything anymore." She finally said, her voice breaking the solemn, almost serene quiet that had permeated the air.

Merlin stared down at his hands. "Is this about the fire? Because I'm sure Uther-"

"No." She interrupted. "He can't help me. Not with this."

Merlin waited.

"I-I haven't told anyone this, except Gaius." Morgana continued, "He tried to help, but he just…"

"Didn't understand?" Merlin finished knowingly.

Morgana finally turned to face him, her lips parted in surprise. "Yes."

"Well he wants to be helpful, but sometimes-"

"He doesn't listen?" Morgana guessed, prompting a grin to appear on her friend's face. The two laughed softly for a moment, forgetting the terrible circumstances that led to the conversation.

Morgana sighed, her happy expression dropping. This, having friends, would soon be over. When they found out what she did, _what she was_, they would abandon her. Camelot had absolutely no tolerance for magic, and she had performed it inside the castle walls. Morgana knew she should leave now before anyone suspected sorcery, but she couldn't bear to leave her life behind. She had grown up here; this was home.

She didn't even want to imagine a new life without Gwen, her best friend, whom had been there for her despite their difference in status. Gwen hadn't begrudged her for being born highborn, and had even made the effort to be her friend. She would miss Arthur, who had gradually become a protective brother figure in her life.

Morgana stared into expressive dark blue eyes and felt her breath become caught in her throat. Merlin. From the very beginning Merlin had stood out. There was just something about him that drew her attention. Despite this, they hadn't gotten the chance to grow very close; he was always busy tending to Arthur's seemingly never ending requests. But he was a good person. Maybe even the most decent one she knew.

_But did that mean she could trust him?_

"I'm so afraid." She whispered gravely, her bright eyes meeting his head on.

Merlin found himself taken aback by the person sitting before him. This wasn't the Morgana he knew and admired. Morgana was the strongest person he knew; she wasn't this confused, visibly shaken girl.

"I'm your friend, Morgana. Whatever it is, you can trust me with anything." Merlin assured her seriously, reaching a hesitant hand out and placing it over her smaller one.

Morgana blinked as a sudden warmth gathered behind her eyelids. "I caused the fire in my bedchamber last night. I don't understand how it happened, but I know that somehow I did it. I think it must have been magic. Do you believe me?"

He hesitated, unable to vocalize the wavering thoughts running through his mind.

"Please, Merlin. Say you believe me. I-I just need someone to say it out loud so I know I'm not alone. So I know I'm not imagining all of this." She stared at him in uncertainty and confusion, as if the importance of his answer was the only thing that mattered in that moment. And maybe it was.

Their gazes locked intensely for a few overwhelming seconds. Her desperation and unfailing hope in his answer was clear on her pale face, while Merlin was clearly torn and unsure of what his own answer would be.

Merlin tightened his fingers around hers. "I really wish there was something I could say."

Morgana's hopeful expression shattered like fragile glass. She stared at him in unveiled disappointment, tugging her hand out from under his. He could practically see the protective walls she usually built around herself re-emerging. It broke something in him, and he sighed shakily.

_This was tearing her apart._

"Forget everything I said." Morgana said coldly, her eyes sharp. "I was confused, it's been a long day."

Merlin watched, torn, as she moved to stand. To leave. And he knew this was his last chance to actually help her. If he told her about his magic and proved that he trusted her, maybe she could confide in him? He could help her learn how to control her magic. Then, she wouldn't have to flee Camelot. She could stay in the castle where he would be there for her. Maybe she could even help him protect Arthur. His destiny was Arthur, but couldn't his choice be Morgana?

"Morgana, wait!"

In that crucial moment all the advice he had been given flashed through his mind.

_**You must never reveal you secret, not to anyone.**_

_**It would be better if the witch never knew the true extent of her powers.**_

She paused mid-step, her long, dark hair curled about her face as she turned to face him.

_Should he trust her with his secret? With his magic? His life?_

Merlin stared at her hopelessly, his blue eyes shining with an indescribable feeling of loss.

_He just couldn't do it._

"I know some people who may be able to help."


End file.
